Dear......Ellie

I feel like I need to write a letter to you Ellie.
You put on a brave face but inside you are dying, wasting away under all this stress. Why do you do this to yourself? WHY?
Yes, you get those few moments of solace when you are able to feel 'at one' with the world, where things don't disappear but feel more managable and take a back seat but are things really getting any better and when will you ever know if they do?
You're so stuck in your ways, would you even notice?

You're being referred to the Eating Disorder team again, how could you do this? You're not ill enough to go back into treatment, yes you need support but is this really what is right for you? You've lost a little weight and are going to the gym for which I applaud you but you don't need the ED services again, or yet at least. Give it some time, then maybe. Don't be a failure and give up now. Don't surrender yourself to them, you know their drill Ell, don't let them manipulate you again, its not what you need. You need to keep up this willpower its the only way you're ever going to win the battle. Keep fighting, keep fighting for life and how you want it to be but for goodness sake fight quietly. Don't let them see your weaknesses.